I wrote this in my journal on the way to the hospital this morning while sitting in traffic. pre-great news Thursday. I am just re-copying it into this post. I hope you get this letter.
Dear Levi-
I am writing to tell you that I do NOT blame you for this accident. I can't imagine hard it must be to be in your situation...probably as hard as my situation. This accident was not your fault, it was just that...an accident. I feel so bad for you right now. I know that the road was extremely icy. I know that another vehicle already slipped in the exact same spot. I tap my breaks when I see cop lights too. I can imagine that you are feeling terrified right now. I can imagine that this terrible experience has changed your entire perspective on life, as it has mine. Please take this time to realize how precious your family and your friends lives are. Please use this experience to grow to be a better person (Im not saying that your not a good person already)
When this first happened I thought Erik was going to die. I thought my son would be without a daddy. Then I thought that Erik was going to be either a vegetable OR not the same man I married. I was terrified that I would be married to someone I didn't know anymore. The only reason I tell you this is because NOW I believe that Erik will be the same funny, happy, smart, silly, frugal, loving, perverted, thoughtful, handy Father, Friend, Husband and Son that he has always been. I feel like we will be a family again. It may take a year or more to be back to our new 'normal', but it will happen. So Levi, please remember that WE WILL be ok. I think that I, as a person, have already grown from this expirence. I appreciate Eriks Friends and Family with every being of my body. I love my son even MORE than I did before. I feel so loved and I can honestly say that I love at least 4 more people than I loved before. (I may have liked them before - but I love them now) I know how fragile life is and I cherish my "people".
PLEASE take care of yourself and let others help you to do so. I have heard that you feel bad about what happened and I am glad to hear that you are not some guy that has no heart. Because you care about us - I care about you. I am worried about you Levi. We are connected in someway by this life changing event. And yes, if you want to call me, I'm ok with that. If you don't, I'm ok with that too.
Take Care of yourself, Melissa
1 comment:
Dear Melissa,
First of all I just want to let you know that I, along with all my family and friends, are praying for you- all of you. I cannot express how thankful I am that Erik is recovering well and is expected to make a full recovery!!!!! I honestly cannot tell you how much your letter meant to me. Before you wrote me that, I was having extremely severe guilt issues, despite everyone telling me this was just an accident and that I had done everything I could do to prevent it. You’re letter helped me deal with that problem. When I found out that you, the person who loves Erik most, didn’t hate me for this was one of the most moving and pain-relieving moments of my life. It’s one thing for my family and friends to tell me that this was just an accident, but for you to say that means more than words can tell. My family and I get on Erik’s site and read his blog every day. Not a minute goes by that I don’t think about the accident, and it honestly makes me sick to my stomach to know that this traumatic event happened to such good people. And you are absolutely right about me caring about you and Erik. I know that this is probably the hardest thing that has ever happened to either of us, but I know that it has definitely made me realize how very precious life is. From everything that I’ve read on here, along with the fact that you’ve forgiven me for this accident, gives me an idea of how good of a person you are. All I have to say is that you must be an extremely strong, caring, and forgiving person. In a way, that makes me feel worse about this whole thing.
Everyone keeps telling me to look on the bright side of this situation, and although it is hard, it amazes me at how well you are doing that. I truly admire that. I ask God every day to allow Erik to make a speedy and complete recovery. I also hope that you guys grow even closer as a result of this. I’m trying to send good thoughts to you and your family. It makes me so happy to see you doing better, and I pray it continues. I know that you have many friends and family to help you through this hard time, but PLEASE let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do in order to help you!!!! I sincerely mean that.
Very best wishes,
Levi
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